Perfectionist Pity Parties


I’m a make-it-happen kind of person.  I’m not a perfectionist.  I’m happy when I know I’ve given my best and I think that’s enough.  The reason I’m sharing this is not so you know more about me – but because I think this is a key to living a great life: to know the difference between healthy pressure and paralysing pressure when it comes to our internal world.  Yes I want to keep growing, I want to improve, but I want to keep enjoying the journey whilst trying my best; not take myself too seriously either.

Healthy Pressure

Healthy pressure comes from living a big life; a life where pressure is real but it’s not just about ourselves.  It’s the pressure of achieving goals,  deadlines to meet and people to share our time with.  Where we are stretched to be more and achieve more by giving our best.

Paralysing Pressure

Paralysing pressure is one where we are too hard on ourselves.  The type of pressure where no matter how hard we try, we are still not good enough.  Pressure that paralyses our internal world stops us from moving forward.  Don’t live there.  It’s draining, life-sucking and defeating.

Celebrate the Win – Don’t Beat Yourself Up

The power of goal setting – with small little baby-step goals is the ability to have a win by taking one small step in the right direction.  Celebrate that win!  Pat yourself on the back. If you gave your best in something then allow yourself to feel satisfied with that.  Don’t beat yourself up for the outcome you didn’t achieve.

Let’s not be the type of people to avoid pressure – that won’t achieve anything but a small life.  Let’s position ourselves for pressure, but in doing so,  keep a check on our internal world and how we deal with pressure.  Don’t allow perfectionist pity parties; where you believe you’re not good enough because your view of yourself is distorted.  Let’s thrive in the pressure cooker that life is and enjoy giving our best!






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What frames your world?

What frames your world?


Hebrews 11:3 (Amplified Bible)

By faith we understand that the worlds [during the successive ages] were framed (fashioned, put in order, and equipped for their intended purpose) by the word of God, so that what we see was not made out of things which are visible.

It’s the word of God that first spoke into existence the heavens and the earth. He first framed our existence and his rightful place is where He is still the one to frame our individual worlds.  Yet, even in all His power, authority, dominion, omnipresence; He gave us free will.  We have the power to choose.  To choose now what we do with the life we’ve been given.  Do we allow our experiences, our circumstances, the way we’ve been brought up to ultimately frame our world; or do we choose to constantly redefine our existence by choosing to allow God’s word to frame our life?

Have you ever stopped to capture your thoughts and take authority over them?

I’m constantly talking to myself, stopping thoughts in their tracks – not allowing them to rule me, but for them to get in line with where I’m heading.  I don’t have time for negative thoughts, impure thoughts, faithless thoughts that try and bombard my thinking…and I’m surprised at how often they try!

We all have thousands of thoughts filling our minds each day, we need to train ourselves to be aware of the dialogue in our heads.  Take the time to consciously control and replace junk thoughts.  We have the power to decide what thoughts frame our lives.  The key is what to replace them with.  I don’t think simply replacing a negative thought with a positive thought is enough; sure it’s better than a negative thought.  I have found something better to replace a negative thought, something better than a positive thought.

I believe God’s word – the Bible, is the best thing to replace our junk thoughts with.

I find my junk thoughts are so contrary to what the Bible says to be true and all the more reason to replace them, because they are so out of line!

God’s word has power, has authority to change things and speak things into being.  It’s one thing to have hope – but what in?  Hope is a positive expectation in circumstances. Circumstances are not always controllable – so how can hope just be placed in circumstances coming into alignment?

Take for example my amazing Father-in-law who is a healthy, fit man who just suffered a major heart attack where statistically only 5% of people survive.  If hope is placed in good circumstances; being aware that he keeps himself in good health, eats well, is a non-smoker, a fit man through years of rowing, then a heart attack shouldn’t have happened at age 60 with no risk factors.  Hope would then still believe everything will be ok.  Based on what?  The controllable things like lifestyle choices, diet, exercise were all in place – but it was the uncontrollable that took place.  Hope has to be anchored in something more than circumstances realigning themselves.

Hope anchored to the word of God – even when circumstances are crazy and things are not seeming to come back together, we can trust a God that ultimately fashioned not just this life, but the next.  I do believe He heals, He restores and that His promises are true: He works all things together for our good.  Even beyond our current circumstances of this life, is the promised life which is eternal.  Something I can hardly wrap my head around. In heaven there are no tears, no pain, no negative circumstances.  Only good all the time!

God’s word gives us something to anchor our hope in.  It gives us thoughts to frame our world into something significant, something beautiful, something brilliant and ultimately something eternal.  I want my world to be framed by that.


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Don’t wish the day away

I often hear coming from Israel’s bedroom in the mornings, “it’s day time!”  As soon as it comes to his attention that the sun is getting up – it wakes everything within him!  He has such a passion for life and endless amounts of energy!

When it’s getting dark – he get’s a little depressed about having to go to bed and he will often comment how he wishes it could be day time all the time!

He certainly reminds me not to wish the day away.

We all face difficult seasons where perhaps we wish the day away to simply make time go faster to get through the discomfort sooner.  Perhaps it’s the difficult journey of lifestyle change, loosing weight, the exhausting season of parenting young children, financial difficulty, relationship breakdown, the pain of loosing someone you love.

This life is too short to wish the day away.

Isaiah 40:31 – “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Everything about Jesus is renewing, life-bringing, promising.  He is faithful and trustworthy and also accessible.  Our human flaws don’t have to cut us off from God, but instead we are given renewed access to God through Jesus.

Tonight I’m claiming renewed strength – bring on tomorrow!

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How about Hermie?


Ben and I were shocked to discover that we are having a girl again!  We are absolutely thrilled, but we were both convinced we were having a boy.  Israel had been saying he was going to have another sister, but he only has a sister – so I just thought he was saying that because that’s all he knows.  Turns out he was right.

I was looking hard up at the ultra sound screen looking for boy bits to appear and I was thinking to myself, “gee it’s really not very clear – I can’t see any boy bits”, but that’s because there were no boy bits to be seen!

We went home and told Israel the news and he was quite matter-a-fact about it, like he already knew he was having another sister.  So then I said to him, we have to think of a name we want to give her.  His first suggestion was Sophie – it’s a beautiful name of course, but I explained that he already has one sister named Sophie and that we should give a different name to his new sister.  Then he suggested we name her Hermie.

I don’t think it will be going to the top of our list, but I loved the sentiment behind it.  ‘Hermie – A Common Caterpillar’ is Israel’s favourite book at the moment.  We read it to him at least once a day, but quite often many more times than that!

Max Lucado wrote the book and the message of the book is very powerful – ‘God loves you just the way you are, but He’s not finished with you yet’.  Hermie is a common caterpillar trying to come to terms with why he is so common.  He compares himself to other worms that have spots and stripes, when he is just plain green.  He compares himself to the ant who is very strong, the snail who has a portable home and the lady bug who has beautiful jet black spots.  He talks to God throughout the journey and God is constantly telling him not to worry that He isn’t finished with him yet.  Finally Hermie comes to the point where he is grateful for the way he was made and then before he knows it, he is a beautiful butterfly with beautiful colours and spots and wings!

I love reading this book to Israel, knowing he is learning such a powerful lesson.  It can be a life-long struggle to be comparing ourselves and not aware of the unique design and purposes God has for each one of us.  I always hated my short, stumpy legs and they are certainly not one of my favourite features – but one day I realised I needed to be grateful for my legs.  They are strong, made me quick and I’m sure a better gymnast when I was competing.  I realised I was purpose-built for the life God had for me and for that I was grateful.

Of course, God’s purpose-built design is not limited to our physical bodies.  He designed our personality traits, the gifts and talents we have – every part of us!  The best part about it is He’s not finished with us yet!  Our best days are still ahead of us!

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In the words of a 2 year old: “He camed back alive”!

Easter rolls around for another year and 2015 marks for me the best one yet!  I’m pretty excited about this particular Easter – because Israel, my almost three-year-old son understands to a certain degree why we celebrate Easter!

He certainly has very quickly familiarised himself with chocolate Easter Eggs!  He can answer the question – what happened at the first Easter?  “Jesus died on the cross.” To which I responded, “Did he stay dead” and he says excitedly, “no, he camed back alive!”

The significance of this statement, he doesn’t fully understand; and yet, neither do I.  Doing life with Jesus is a constant discovery of the depth of his love, grace and power.

Many people know the pain of bad decisions, the hurts that this life can throw; the loneliness, the difficulties.  I can not imagine facing these things without the power and presence of Jesus and the church family I am supported by.  The crazy thing is that Jesus and everything he has to offer us is available to everyone – NO MATTER WHAT!

Many people find Jesus after a life – however long, of not knowing him and then finding him and in doing so; find forgiveness, freedom, purpose, healing and hope.

It was living life our own way that first separated us from the love of God.  God then showed his great love to us by giving his son to die on the cross as a final payment, the perfect sacrifice of a perfect life.  To be forgiven by simply accepting this fact is amazing – but then the Easter story was taken one step further.  We don’t stop and celebrate Good Friday because it was ‘good’; Jesus died a horrible, painful, horrific and humiliating death!! It became good because of Sunday – when Jesus rose again in victory and conquered the power of death and took authority once and for all over everything!  Before the cross Jesus was mocked for being the ‘King’ of the Jews and yet after the cross, although some may still choose to mock him, the truth is that he is King.  The one true King!  When we confess him to be our King, our Lord – that is what transforms our lives!

Though this truth has always been known to me – like it is for my son Israel.  I have still walked a journey from a two-year-old understanding to now and I am just in awe of the life he saved me from and the life I have been set up for!

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Find privilege in the mundane


I had a brilliant start to my day at a beautiful local cafe – Esher St Cafe & Deli; fantastic food, terrific coffee and brilliant company!  A few of my lady friends got together to read our Bibles, which is always a great way to begin the day.  Israel and Sophie ate their food happily; Israel was especially elated when he received a large pink marshmallow with his baby chino.  

As I read my Bible something stood out to me in 1 Corinthians 11:26 (msg)

You must never let familiarity breed contempt.

It made me think back to the night before when I was carrying my children up from the car at midnight to their beds and I was just so thankful in that moment for the privilege of being their Mum.  There have been many similar moments where I have allowed the familiarity of this task – late at night, exhausted, carrying my sleeping children to their beds to breed contempt.  Especially when I’ve done it alone.  Yet last night I found privilege in the mundane.

Life is full of mundane moments and yet it’s often the small consistent steps of the mundane that produces the outcomes we are hoping for.  If we allow familiarity to steal our joy, to rob our gratitude in the everyday moments, consistency falters and outcomes fall short.  

Recently I watched a scenario unfold where I saw a Mother put down her grown-up daughter a number of times in a group setting.  I’m sure she wasn’t even aware she was doing it and I was reminded to watch how I speak to my loved ones.  When our guards are down because we are comfortable, we can often allow that to influence our filter.  Let’s not allow familiarity to breed contempt towards our loved ones.  Let’s tell them they are loved with our words, let’s show them they are loved with our actions.

It’s the everyday moments that matter – what do you choose to do with yours?

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Green Stairs

DSC_4996 Green concrete stairs

I didn’t think I’d ever come back to this house.  We renovated it to make it suitable to rent as a share house, and it was – before we realised the location was too good to give up and so we went back to it; green stairs and all.

Sometimes the things that need to change stare us in the face daily and we can either become numb or narked.

Some days I am numb to my green stairs, as the hustle and bustle of life swiftly brings me up and down the stairs carrying at least one child and an armful of other items needed with me for the day.  Other days I am just narked by the fact the green stairs have not changed and I want to do something about them…I just don’t know where to start!

The outside of our house is no longer a bright, light blue with some bits of peeling paint; it is now a light grey with white trimmings and a dark grey trim.  It looks great – it’s a huge improvement!  It’s sleek, modern and makes it look so much better!  I walk in the newly painted front door and look to the dark green stairs with white paint splashes (quite artistic really!) and see a big contrast.  The outside is now looking really good with all the attention put there and the inside is suffering!

This stark contrast between the outside and the inside of my house got me thinking to the outside of my life and the inside of my life.  Is there a stark difference?

Am I numb or narked to the contrast of my internal and external life?

Everything within me wants to be my best, wants to be better not only than yesterday’s mistakes, but yesterday’s best.  I want to succeed at life!  I choose to live my life for Jesus and I want to give him my best!

Giving Jesus my best does not mean giving him my most polished performance at life.  It means giving him every part so that he can help me change and grow into the person he wants me to be.

Sometimes in my pursuit of excellence, I can get caught up in not only in what I think success looks like but I can even put too much pressure on myself to get the internal polished too.

I’m a sinner and although Jesus is slowly changing me from the inside out, I am far from perfect and it actually annoys me!  I’m narked by my imperfection! I want to just give my internal world a paint job and be done with it!  Polished and then ta-da!

Either I can admit I’m imperfect and then become numb to the fact and then just use it as an excuse to stay as I am, or I can be narked by it and be willing to let Jesus change the person I am on the inside and in turn, it does eventually impact the outside of my life too!

Maybe you can follow what I’m saying, or maybe you’re like me and my green stairs – you don’t know where to start!  So if you don’t know where to start with your internal world, just pray a simple prayer to Jesus that just allows him to have access to your life, to your heart and pick up the Bible and have a read.  Here’s a verse in Romans to point us in the right direction.

Romans 12:2
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.




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